Courting a Girl – How to Initiate a Kiss

So your date is going really well.  She is cuddling up to you, putting her head on your shoulders, whispering sweet nothing into your ears and you feel that there is chemistry between the both of you. You feel the romance in the air and very much want to kiss her but am not sure if she is ready for that first kiss.  At the back of your mind, you are worried that one wrong move may end or worst still, ruin beyond repair any chance you may have in courting her. So what should you do?  More specifically, how do you initiate the first kiss?

Simple, just test her readiness. Slowly but confidently, reach out and touch her hair and at the same time compliment her for it (this is assuming she truly has beautiful hair). It is important you do not appear nervous or unsure as you reach out. Watch her reaction. If she appears relax and comfortable with your initial move, do another trial. This time around, move in closer and reach out again, touching and lightly brushing the side of her face, as you continue looking gently in her eyes while softly whispering to her. If she still appears comfortable and relax or better still, moves even closer towards you, it’s a hint that she might be attracted to you and is ready to be kissed. Move in slowly and gently (do not scare her) and go for it. By that, we mean to go for a light peck on the cheek or even on the lips. Do not overwhelm her at this stage with an all-out kiss; instead, leave her wanting more.

To successfully initiate the first kiss, it helps too if you spend some time planning the setting for it. For example, you can take her to the top of a high building overlooking the city.  At night, with the city all lit up, it adds to the atmosphere of romance and will make that first kiss all the more memorable. When courting a girl and especially when initiating that first kiss, some preparation beforehand can make the difference between an ordinary and an extraordinary courtship experience.

Meanwhile, if you have never kissed a girl before, it helps too that you play out the scene in your mind’s eye at least a few times before the actual day. As with every stage in the process of courting a girl, you need to appear confident as you go about setting up that successful first kiss and thus, some visualisation of the experience will help you prepare for it.

Finally, if despite all the planning and the kiss did not happen, there is still a chance after the date when you send her home. If your culture permits, give her a light peck on the cheek at the door and let her know that you had a great time.

Good luck on that first kiss. When it comes to courting a girl, a learning how to initiate a kiss is important.

How to Talk to a Girl – Handling Awkward Silence

Have you ever experience a situation where after introducing yourself to someone you have just met, your mind simply goes blank and you are at a loss for words?  Because our minds, when in a relax state, processes information at a rate faster than we can ever imagine, this almost away does not happen unless we are nervous, stressed or overwhelmed. And to make matters worse, when it comes to courting girls, it is usually the beautiful or special ones who will make our hearts beat a notch faster, our nerves jittery and our mouths loss for words.  This is often followed by awkward silence and then one party excusing him or herself, thus ending a conversation that never began in the first place and another loss opportunity to court a girl.

So what should you do the next time you are faced such a situation of awkward silence when talking to a girl?

Because awkward silence is the result of stress or nervousness, any good method should help both your target and you feel more relax so that good free flowing conversation can take place.  Here are two tips I personally find helpful. And before you write them off as too difficult, the paragraphs at the end of this article will teach you how these two techniques can easily be mastered:

Tell a Joke (Show Your Humorous Side)

A joke or witty comment drawing on your current situation or environment would be best. Unfortunate, for most of us, because our minds are already blank, being witty will not be easy. That being the case, any joke that is safe yet funny and won’t make you a clown will do. Avoid jokes that are racist, reflects your prejudice, outright gross or in any way, likely to offend rather than relax the girl you are talking to.

When delivering the joke, don’t say can I tell you a joke; simply go into it. And at the end of the joke, don’t go into a sheepish smile or laugh uncontrollably at your own joke.  The aim of your joke is to make her laugh, relax the both of you and impress upon her that you are a fun guy to be with.  Hence you should take the opportunity to relax and smile confidently as you watch her laugh and gain your way into her heart.

Perform a Trick

Take an everyday object and simply perform a trick to lighten the mood. Choose a trick that is simple yet amazing and gives you an excuse to hold her hand.

A word of caution though; don’t perform more than two tricks no matter how hard she presses you for more. Magic is good for breaking the ice, lightening a tense atmosphere and most importantly, creating a sense of mystery and intrigue around you. Over performing destroys this advantage and makes you look like nothing more than a performing monkey or a clown, neither of which is a good image for attracting girls

Many girls will ask how the trick is done and you will need to know how to handle the situation.  If the setting is right, for example you are at somewhere romantic, you could take the opportunity to teach her (just 1 trick and not everything), giving you the perfect excuse to touch and even hold her hands.  If the setting is not right, decline politely.  For me, when asked how I did it, I simply say with a confident smile,” Pretty well, don’t you think?” and move on to another conversation topic.

 What if You Are Not Natually Humorous and Can’t Perform Tricks

By now, some of you may be wondering what to do if you can’t tell a joke or perform a trick. The good news is everyone can.  It does not take much effort to read up on some good jokes and master a magic trick or two.  For jokes, simply Google for them and for tricks, YouTube has got some pretty good stuff.

If you are serious about learning how to court a girl, then putting in some effort to learn a good trick/ joke or two will go a long way towards making you desirable in from of women.

For those who need more help on how to talk to a girl, Conversation King is a program I personally like.

Courting a Girl with Confidence

Confidence is everything when it comes to courting a girl; it rubs on to those around you, often leaving them feeling good about you.  More importantly, it leaves a girl feeling secure around you and even attracted to you. In addition, confident people are perceived to be winners, often firmly in control of whatever situation or challenges live may bring. Thus confident people are easily able to present a winning image that naturally attracts and impress the women around them. In short, confidence is a necessary ingredient when it comes to courting a girl.

However, not all of us are naturally confident. And given the importance of confidence in the whole courtship process, how then do we develop the necessary confidence?

How to Court a Girl with Confidence?

Like anything in life, confidence has to be slowly built.  While there are many ways, my personal favorites are Affirmation and Action


We all know the positive effect of receiving sincere praise and compliments often from others; very simply, it increases our self-esteem.  Unfortunately, to a certain extent, we are unable to control when we will be praised next or if at all. Thus rather than rely on others for the occasional praises and compliments, why not rely on ourselves to feed our mind with positive affirmations constantly instead? By repeatedly telling ourselves (even silently in our hearts) that we are good, attractive, charismatic etc, there will come a time when our subconscious mind will believe it and thus boost our overall confidence in ourselves and our abilities to court a girl.

The best time to feed our minds with positive statements about our ability to court girls is just before we sleep.  At this time, because we are drifting from consciousness to sleep, such affirmations tend to be able to find their way pass our logical mind and into our subconscious more easily.

If you are serious about using positive affirmations to build up your confidence around girls, we suggest writing and then recording down a series of positive statements which you can then playback each night before you sleep. And when penning down your statements, use only positive language. For example, avoid saying, “I am not ugly.” Instead say, “I am attractive.” Also make it a point to phrase them in the present rather than future tense, as in “I am confident” as opposed to “I am going to be confident.”


While it is generally accepted that affirmations do work, they are not an immediate cure for lack of confidence around women. To speed things up, you will need to take action to confront your fears, one baby step at a time. Why? Because taking baby steps will ensure more successes and as we all know, success breeds success and instills further confidence. If you are successful in any task 100% of the time, wouldn’t you automatic have the confidence to get it done?

Applying the above to the area of courtship, it means that if your fear is in approaching a girl, confront it, but do so in small baby steps.  For example, begin by smiling and wishing anyone you meet a good day. Do it daily till you become confident enough to progress to the next step. Next, make it a point to approach and casually talk to a stranger or two each day. If you are still not confident approaching a girl, then approach guys first and learn to enjoy a casual conversation with them. Over time, as your confidence develop, progress towards chatting up with girls that do not set your hearts fluttering. Finally, once chatting up any stranger (whether a guy or a girl) becomes second nature to you, progress towards approaching and courting those girls you really like.

As can be seen, the progression should be in baby steps.  This is important as it helps ensure that you will have sufficient success each step of the courtship process towards your final goal. Nothing kills off confidence faster than a series of unwanted rejections and that is likely to occur if you try biting more than you can chew by going straight for the girl that set your heart fluttering and  knees shaking. Your lack of confidence will likely trigger the rejection, which in turn further lowers your confidence leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy that you are not worthy to court her or any girl in her league.

If you need more help developing your confidence to woo girls, Guy gets girl by Tiffany Taylor is a great program which can help you. It teaches you how to get started on learning how to date, attract and court the woman of your dreams. It comes packaged with a comprehensive range of bonus materials including HypnoDate which is designed in helping you further develop your confidence in courting a girl.

How to Court a Girl – Asking Her Out

To know how to court a girl, you must first know how to ask her out.  As simple as it sounds, for many, asking a girl out on a first date can be very nerve wrecking indeed, especially if she is someone real special. And as such, some of us simply never ever muster up enough courage to get the job done, allowing opportunity after opportunity to slip us by. Eventually another guy will come along and we inevitably end up watching helplessly as he steals the girl of our dreams right before our very eyes, all because we did not have the courage to even ask her out. While we agree that this sucks, it is unfortunately the way things are; as guys, we have to initiate the first move. So is there a way we can ensure success each time we ask for a date? While there may never be a single one size fits all formula when it comes to dating and courting girls, if you follow the 5 simple tips outlined below, your chances of success in courting a girl and asking her out will increase significantly.

1. Wait for the Right Setting

As with every other aspect of courting a girl, make sure the setting is right before making your move. By right setting, I mean the mood is light and relaxed and you happen to be alone with her. This is important because you will want to appear relaxed, confident and calm when you make your move. By asking her when there are others around or if the environment is tense, you are simply giving yourself more stress and thus risk appearing tense and nervous.

2.  Make Asking for the Date a Natural Extension of Your Conversation

Whatever you do, don’t ever pop that all important question out of the blue. This will appear very unnatural and will put both of you in an awkward position. And trust me, in the early stages of courtship, you don’t want her to feel awkward in anyway.  Instead, make it easy for her to say yes to you. How? By steering the conversation towards something both of you share a common interest in and making the date a natural extension of that conversation.. For example, if the two of you share a common interest in musicals and there happen to be a famous musical coming to town, then steer your conversion towards the topical of musicals and when the conversation is going well with both of you talking enthusiastically, simple suggest that the two of should you catch the musical together. It would appear very natural and thus accepting your date will become a natural thing for her to do.

3. Give Her a Choice of Meeting Place

If she says yes to the date, give her a choice of meeting place. Ask her nicely if she would prefer you to pick her from her home or meet you at the venue itself. This is especially important if you are chatting up this girl for the very first time. She may not feel comfortable enough yet to give you (someone she had just met moments ago) her address so it is best to give her a choice of meeting place and not assume. By giving her a choice, it will also make you appear more gentlemanly in her eyes, which is very important if you intend to court her.

4. Get Her Number

Once the meeting place is set, take the opportunity to ask for her number (if you do not yet already have it). Asking for her number now also becomes very natural since she has already agreed to the date.

5.  Be Yourself

Finally, as far as possible, try to be yourself. Never pretend to act like somebody else just to impress or court her. That said, steer clear too of pick-up lines.  Instead, be original.  Why? Because if she is going to like you, it has to be for who you are.

While the above tips may be simple, they are important. This is because without her agreeing to go on dates with you, it will be difficult to woo her.  Getting the date is thus an important aspect of learning how to court a girl.

Need more help on courting and dating a girl? This program might help.

Courting a Girl – How to Approach a Girl

Today, let’s talk about a very important skill to have when it comes to courting a girl – the approach. To maximize your chances of success, you will need to know how to approach a girl naturally and break the ice confidently. In short, the key to any successful approach (for the purpose of trying to court a girl) is being natural and confident.

However, for the purpose of today’s discussion, our focus will strictly be on how to approach a girl in a natural manner i.e. we will leave the topic on how to build confidence for a future post.

For most people, the main fear or obstacle to the approach is really how to break the ice. Some will try overly hard, even resorting to pick-up lines in hope of finding success or impressing the girl. Allow us to let you in on a little secret; pick-up lines are unnecessary and most probably a bad idea. In addition, the harder you stress yourself up trying, the more likely you will fail. Why? Because you will appear stressed and nervous and it will show in both your voice and body language. She, on the other hand, will easily pick out such signals and in the process develop a negative first impression of you, thus significantly reducing your chances of ever courting her.


How then do you approach a girl? 

Just make use of the surrounding environment; it’s that simple. By that we mean to observe your subject and her surrounding for anything interesting which you can then use to start a conversation with her. Then confidently approach her and casually open up with a general comment (based on whatever conversation worthy topics you manage to think of, pertaining either to your subject or whatever she is doing, wearing or even her surroundings). To encourage conversation, you should end your comment with a question.

Take for example, you are at a park and there happen to be a girl there walking her dog. You have taken a fancy towards her and would like to approach her. To break the ice, you can simply approach her saying, “That’s a nice dog; what breed is it?”

Or if you are in a bookstore and see this girl you wish to approach, simply go to her and say, “Hi, I am scouting for a birthday gift for a friend and noticed you browsing through (author’s name) books. See, my friend happens to be a fan of (author’s name) as well but I am totally unfamiliar with his novels. Can I have your opinion on which title I should consider getting and why?

As can be seen, the key is to make conversation with a topic inspired by the subject or her surroundings.  Thus, in addition to being relevant to your subject or her surrounding, your chosen opening line must be conversation worthy (i.e. likely to trigger a conversation) as well.  With such an approach, the ice would easily be broken, allowing you to effortlessly continue your conversation with her.

Don’t forget though to introduce yourself once the conversation gets going. Simply extend your hand and say, “Hi, I am (your name) and you are?”

Meanwhile, here are some pointers to note when introducing yourself:

  1. When shaking hands, do so firmly, confidently, with eye contact and a warm friendly smile. That said, be careful though not to crush her hands; and
  2. Be sure to pay attention and remember her name when she tells you.


Why This Manner of Approach?


  1. It sounds natural, is non-threatening and will not put the girl on a defensive. Instead, if you approach her confidently, with a nice warm and friendly smile, you are very likely to leave a good first impression with should be your main goal during the approach stage of the courtship process; when courting a girl, a good first impression is half the battle won; and
  2. If the girl is just offering a one to two word response to your questions, is not very friendly or if her response is far from enthusiastic, you can simply move on without the feeling of being outright rejected; you have after all only asked her some simple questions and it is alright if she does not feel in the mood to answer.


Finally, if the conversation is going real well, take the opportunity to ask her out and in the process get her phone number. If you need help or tips in this area, simply refer to our blog post How to Court a Girl – Asking her Out. This is especially important if you are unlikely to bump into her again.

Click here for our recommendation, if you need additional help on courting a girl

Courting Girls – How to Touch a Girl (Inspired by Tiffany Taylor)

Recently, as part of my own continuous learning journey, I read a guide on courting girls by Tiffany Taylor. Titled Guy Gets Girl, what attracted me to invest in this guide was that this is the first and possibly only dating and courtship guide written by a woman for men; I simply couldn’t resist the opportunity to understand and learn how to court a girl from a girl’s perspective.

And because I have never before read a courtship and dating guide written by a woman, I personally found Tiffany’s work to be very refreshing and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. For those who have not read her guide yet, I thought I make a post on one topic that caught my attention – How to Touch a Girl.

According to Tiffany, touching is an essential part of courting a girl; without it, any encounter with a girl will not go beyond platonic.

To have any chance of hitting off with a girl, there must be at least a certain amount of touching going on both ways. Be it you placing your arms around her, she putting her head on your shoulders flirtatiously, physical closeness must be established before any form of courtship can take place. And often that’s where the problem lies – how to touch a girl without scaring her off or making her feel you are too touchy?

From observation, I realise that there are those who will just simply initiate contact, often without care or concern for how the woman feels. Often instead of achieving physical closeness, they end up scaring away their target. Yet others may decide to play it safe, refraining from any form of physical contact with the girl till they are sure it is safe to do so. Unfortunately too, they end up sending the wrong signal; that they are either too shy or timid or that they are simply disinterested. Either way, when it comes to courting a girl, it is a lose-lose situation because you are unlikely to leave a good impression or score well in her books.

So given the importance of being able to establish physical contact in a way that girls will accept, how do we go about doing it?

First and foremost, we need to understand a girl’s personal space and learn to respect it. That would mean understanding where and when it is appropriate and permissible to touch and where and when it is not. Knowing this, through appropriate casual touching as you are talking to her, you will be able to project confidence and character, both of which will put you in good light in her eyes. Girls as you know, like confident guys with great character.

Where and When to Touch During the Initial Courtship Ritual?

1.  The outer right arm is a great place to casually touch as you are talking to a girl, even if it’s only your first meeting. And the key here is to casually touch as you are making a point in a conversation (e.g. to get your point across) and the touch must seem like a natural extension of the conversation. This way, because the outer arm is not an intimate area, your touch will not put her on a defensive, but rather leave her with a good impression of you.

2.  As your conversation progresses, you will need to keep the touching going and perhaps even progress to touching more personal areas like her hands, shoulder or waist. Unfortunately, if you jump straight into it too soon, you are likely to scare her away rather than attract her to you. Here’s where “Stealth Tactility” as Tiffany coins it, comes in. “Stealth Tactility” is simply disguised touching.  For example, when pointing out the directions to her, you can point out the direction with one hand and casually put your arms around her waist with the other as you guide her to the direction you are pointing to. Because there is a reason for the touch, she is unlikely to feel uncomfortable. Instead she will feel your touch and subconsciously associate good feeling towards you.

3. Lastly, if the conversation went really well, there is bonding and chemistry, you exchange numbers and plan to meet for a date another day, closing the encounter with a hug or a light kiss on the cheek may even be appropriate. It seals the encounter and gives her a reason to remember you.

Who is Tiffany Taylor?

Tiffany Taylor is the author of the courtship and dating guide, Guy Gets Girl, the first guide on How to Court a Girl, written by a female. Being a girl herself, Tiffany naturally understands how the female mind works and more importantly how to use this knowledge to court the girl of your dreams. If you want to know more about her works or improve your skills in courting girls, simply visit her website –